Scared.

September 2, 2011 By 2 Comments

Story by Amanda Cox, AKA Mad Cow.

549573_expressionsI huddled in the dark, pushing myself as far into the corner of the only safe place I could find.

I was trapped, in my house.

I’d managed to run from them when they checked to see that my only escape path was blocked, and head for the walk-in wardrobe. Carefully, silently, I opened the door, slithered inside and curled around myself, amongst the shoes, hidden behind the long evening dresses and suits.

They were coming for me. I could hear them, their feet, pounding on the floor boards that lined the hall as they ran up and down, searching for my whereabouts. Never stopping, I was sure, until they found me.

Tears of terror streamed down my face. I shoved my fist into my mouth, stifling a fearful sob, as the footsteps dulled when the hit the carpeted floor the other side of the door. It is a weak barrier and the only thing obscuring me from their view.

As noiselessly as possible, overcoming a petrifying dread, I wriggled from between my footwear to place my back firmly against the door to prevent their entry. It was all I had.

Though they knew I hadn’t left the house, couldn’t leave the house, they had stopped calling for me. I held my breath and waited for the jiggling of the doorhandle, the beating on the door, the yelling. I sighed in relief as, instead, the footsteps moved away and back down the hallway. Away from my safe place.

It was short lived. More steps, running this time, back and forth. I could hear quiet discussion as they huddled around the doorway, my escape route to the outside world. They had spread out in their search.

I didn’t know how long I would have to remain here, or how long before they would discover my location. All I knew was that I had to stay hidden until it was safe.

I was scared.

I couldn’t go out and fight them. Not again. I’d tried, and they’d taken all the fight out of me. I couldn’t think straight, couldn’t function. I was spent. They had weapons; weapons that could easily pierce your heart, send you mad and crush your sprit.

I was afraid that if they found me, found me right now, they would use these weapons and break me, push me to the point where I would literally snap.

I was terrified I would lose control, and that once I let go, I’d never get it back again.

I was scared and I couldn’t move.

I try to grasp my thoughts, gather some strength.I so desperately need to get my thoughts together so I can get out of this, safely, unbroken.

I try to breathe deeply, to calm myself. I’m frozen in fear. Hot tears run down my cheek and onto my neck. I pray they don’t melt my resolve. I lean back against the door, pressing hard and hope they don’t find me.

They are coming for me again and I still myself as they begin to call for me …

“Mum. MUM! Where are you? Mum?”

Amanda Cox is a writer, speaker, blogger, author, entrepreneur, founder of parent support website Real Mums, wife, mum to three boys, drinker of wine and mediocre housewife. Her personal blog may be found at www.diaryofamadcow.com.au or underneath the coffee table with last week’s Vegemite toast and the missing waffle iron …

Filed Under: Featured, Hearth and Home, Life and Self Tagged With: , , , , ,

Stuck in negative thinking and want to enjoy your kids more?

December 2, 2010 By Leave a Comment

eyesI believe that many people spend too much time thinking about their past.

Take a moment to ask yourself what do you think about – do you think about negative past experiences too much?

Do you re-hash old hurts, missed opportunities, your child’s bad behaviour or that dreaded family member? This way of thinking does not benefit you. We cannot change the past but, what we can do is stop focusing on it.

The Law of Attraction states that what we focus on is what we attract. So, the next time you focus on old hurts, disappointments STOP and visualise your positive future instead! You will feel better physically (I feel lighter when I do this) and if you visualise a positive future you will create a positive future.

However, you may believe this is not easy.

For the past five years I have been a stay at home. I found this ‘job’ to be the most challenging one I have ever done. I thought that I was not ‘cut out’ to stay home and raise my children – which, I had to ‘grin and bear’. I was not a positive thinker and this prevented me from experiencing joy with my family.

To change my life experiences I had to go within, release my guilt and consciously choose to experience happiness and joy. I had to become a positive thinker.
The steps below demonstrate how I achieved this:

1. Identify your child’s activity to do with you (you can ask them during a quiet moment. Perhaps bedtime)
2. Identify what you like best about your child, what your favourite activity is to do with them and tell them.
3. Accept that children want to spend time with you – this fulfils them on such a deep level. They do not want expensive days out or objects / toys.
4. Spend 5 minutes every day doing their favourite activity or your favourite activity with them. (Perhaps after dinner, morning tea or when you come home from work)
5. Increase the 5 minutes a day and start making it a habit.
6. Commit to this for a month – this is not much! Be fully present with your child during those 5 minutes. This is to create the positive habit and to replace years of negative thinking and behaviour.

Observe how you feel when you give your child your full attention. Take notice of what you are thinking.

How is your body language?
Do you feel less stressed?
Do you momentarily forget about the bills, co-worker, terrible family member and washing?

I guess the answer will be yes and I bet you will be smiling too!

When you start to think about all your worries STOP, breathe, watch or listen to your children play, think of your positive future – what happens? You will be smiling and relaxed.

By changing my thoughts from past negative experiences to future experiences and being fully present with my children (just 5 minutes a day) I am more loving, less stressed, able to live in the moment, more creative and my family is happier.
Believe me being a positive thinker makes it a much better day when its 10.30am and you are home alone with the kids!

Changes you can expect after a month

1. Your children will benefit from spending quality time with you and you will benefit from living in the moment
2. You will smile more, think more joyous thoughts and laugh more. You start to understand that happiness is a choice.
3. When you ‘get’ that happiness if a choice you are on your way to creating the life you want.
4. Your family will start to mirror this behaviour back to you
I hope you give this a go!

These tips worked for me and I am sure they will work for you too! I would love to hear about your experiences and you can read more articles by me at www.throughourchildrenseyes.com.au

Margaret Jarvinen is the author of Through Our Children’s Eyes. This book gives children a voice and helps parents to experience more joy in their relationship with their children and family.

Through Our Children’s Eyes will be released on the 12th December 2010 and is available to order now at http://www.throughourchildrenseyes.com.au

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Summer Holiday Fun with Children

December 21, 2009 By 1 Comment

480778_snap_shotFor children, holidays present a time for seemingly endless play, but for adults weeks of school holidays stretching before them may be a terrifying thought.

You might already be wondering how to counter the perennial “I’m bored” statement. Here are some activities that are sure to keep your little (and big) ones happy and occupied, making this a low-stress holiday for you too. And, even better, most of these activities cost nothing.

Have an adventure
* Bushwalk – there is nothing like a bushwalk through one of our fantastic national parks to get children interested in nature. Point out the different trees and flowers, try hunting for animals and insects, or climb a few trees if you’re game.
* City Exploration – if you’re nowhere near the bush, try looking at your city from a different point of view. Find historical markers and create your own history walk, or look at the skyline and walk between the highest points. Be a tourist and visit the information centre to find out more about where you live.
* Photography – take your camera out with the kids and let them take the photos themselves. Try close ups of ladybugs and flowers, or well-known landmarks like a lighthouse, rock platform, skyscraper or railway station.

Fun at home
If it’s raining or your budget is really tight, try these at-home activities to keep them amused for a few hours:
* Cooking – homemade pizza, cupcakes and cookies are easy and fun for children to help cook, and you get to eat the results at the end!
* Art and craft – try finger painting, colouring in pictures printed from the Internet, creating block prints by cutting shapes from potato and stamping on to paper, clay models or build a mobile from papier mache figures or shapes cut from coloured cardboard. Go a step further and make a piñata and fill with lollies and toys and invite friends over for a fun party. The more adventurous might like to try making a kite and then taking it out to fly at the park.
* Outdoors – children love bubbles and they are so easy to make with dishwashing liquid in water and wire bent into shapes. Use chalk to draw a hopscotch pattern on your driveway or paving for a hopping trip down memory lane for you, and a retro game for them. Build a garden with the kids and buy some seedlings or seeds so they can watch their plants grow. Great plants for children are sunflowers and tomatoes because they can see the results, or radishes and lettuce because they grow quickly. Even better, if you grow edible plants you can all enjoy the fruits of your labour.
* Inside – building cubby houses from old boxes and sheets/blankets will entertain kids for hours and you can even invite their friends over for a tea party inside the cubby.

A drive away
* Library – take the kids to your local library and stock up on books, CDs and DVDs for the duration of the holidays to expand their young minds.
* Wildlife park/zoo/aquarium – go on a mini excursion and teach your children about Australia’s flora and fauna in a fun setting.
* Beach, ice skating, mini golf, art exhibition, museum or movies.

Make the holidays an adventure and your children (or your nieces and nephews) will be sad to see the end of their break.

Written by Johanna Baker-Dowdell of Strawberry Communications - writing and public relations.

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